dorkydave

Walk down the line

2006-02-10T20:20:02Z

I was cleaning out from under my bed and found a box with silly sentimental stuff in it, like old letters, photos, my papas war medals. I spent ages looking through it all. I found the one picture I have of me with my mum and dad. And it's from a time I can't even remember.

I've also been attempting to draw some model today. It's amusing lol.

I wouldn't tell a lie

2006-02-05T22:30:14Z

It doesn't matter if you're not the smartest, the prettiest, the most confident or unique person around. You should be able to be you without having to worry if what you're saying makes you sound stupid or a bad person, or if what you're doing is good enough or acceptable for others. Living a life constantly trying to please people and fit in is really no life to live at all.

&& I'm not even going to mention yesterday. Bad days like that deserve to be forgotten.

Did you ever love me?

2006-02-02T21:03:57Z

I have a new LJ layout. It's pretty. yes!

I was late for the doctors this morning. He gave me stuff for my spots. It can have bad side effects but hopefully I won't get them. Diahorrea with blood and mucus doesn't sound nice, does it?

I visited my grams today after school. She hasn't been good these last few months. Everytime she talks about my grandad I think the both of us want to cry. I really should spend more time with her, especially since it's my grandads 70th birthday in a few days. Atleast, it would have been.
My dad was there with my little sister. First time I've seen him in over a month. It didn't feel nice.
But hey - throwing money at me will fix everything wrong with our relationship, right?

I've tried to walk away. . .

2006-02-01T23:33:38Z

I talked to loser
kid today. But only
briefly. I never
saw him all day til
the end, so I just
sad hii. Poor loser
kid :[

I had a nap tonight.
It was nice. I kept
waking up every 40
minutes or so. I had
the weirdest dream,
that I was in a villa
-on holiday- and I
was dying && cutting
my hair. . .
It turned out ugly &
I cried and ran away
through the forest
to a graveyard where
I was talking to
someones grave.

I have the doctors
tomorrow morning. I
need to see about my
spots. I'm hoping he'll
give me the stuff that
Jessica Simpson sells.
Pro Active or whatever.
Haha, that won't happen.
I'll likely get told it's
nothing and to shut up.
pfft.

I wouldn't like me if I met me.

2006-01-31T22:45:13Z

I think I'm on a roll here. Yet another moderately good day. I was free first period and never went to english second period so I could study for the
bio prelim. It went alright to start with, then I just lost focus and couldn't study anymore. But, as it turns out, when I went in and started,
things went okay, and they continued to go okay. Certain parts I was like ehhh? but I did a lot better than I thought I would. And I drew cute pictures
for my 10 mark extended essays at the end :] I couldn't think of the proper word for poo, then, ironically, as soon as I came out and sat in
the common room I remembered feces and excrement. duh!

Work was a bore. There really is no point in me being there. I basically do nothing. I seen yet another new guy who has started. They cut
peoples hours but hire about 4 new guys. What's going on there? Then I was randomly thinking about how good looking all the young staff are at Somerfield. It was weird. Well, obviously there are a few exceptions lol. The nice guy in the chip shop was talking to me again. It makes me laugh everytime. It's so random.

On the negative, I am ill ill ill. My throat is killing me and I feel sick and just ew. I had a steamy shower to try and make it better, but I just ended
up burning myself cause the water was too hot. My mother has a new paper shredder, she's like a big kid with a new toy. For the whole of the OC she was shredding random shite. I stole some of her strawberry go ahead yoghurty bars. She'll be pissed off.

But, hey! Prelims are over until March, so no more studying and stressing like a douchebucket.

It doesn't really matter in the end.

2006-01-30T21:01:39Z

Today was actually a good day, all things considering.I most likely failed my English prelim, but I passed last year, so I'm not that fussed.But it was so so so cold today. Gillian and I were freezing our little asses off having astress releasing cigarette after exam 1. But yeah, through all the stress there was somehilarity. Gillian got her mums new phone because she can't work it, and she managed to geta video of some guy shagging a sheep (titled Aberdeen Fan lol) and she showed me it. For first 5 seconds i was disgusted and gave her it back, but then the sheep yammed really loud and I nearly dribbled. Then she was trying to bluetooth it to people in the common room.

So yeah, today was a big contrast to the weirdness and depressiveness that was me yesterday.I was sitting in the common room listening to confessions of a broken heart by Lindsay Lohan - which Kris has very kindly got me listening to non stop!!! - and i was blankly staring over at this boy, and he has no friends, and he was all alone and he looked really sad. And, it just made me feel even more stupid for being upset for no reason yesterday, because looking at him,I realised things could be so much worse for me. So I decided there and then, kind of ironically seeing as I was listening to a sad song, to look on the bright side of everything and to not let things get me down and to just be bubbly and carefree for atleast a week. A WEEK! That means absolutely no low points.
It's funny how something so simple can make you have a complete turn around.

Ohh, and last night I was drawing at 1am. It was fun. It looked pretty good, then I fucked up the eye and I screwed the paper up.

Anyway, plans for tonight is to shower, maybe watch ER then study till the wee hours of yonder morning.
+finish downloading this Lindsay video.

I should really be thankful. . .

2006-01-29T22:32:27Z

There's a million reasons why I cry, but if you asked me why I was crying
tonight then I wouldn't have a clue how to answer, because I don't know.
Maybe it was lots of things that had been bottled up for a while and just
needed to get out.
Sometimes it just feels like the sky is falling.
I know everything will be alright, though. Well, I'm hoping it will be.
I'm just kinda stuck. I don't know where. I don't really know why, either.
It's all confusing in my head.
I just wish things would finally start looking up. Although, I don't
know how I want them to look up. I think I just want things I don't/can't
have. Cause that's what everyone is like, wanting what they can't have.
Maybe I'm just really lonely. I just want someone who'll hug me, and tell
me they love me, and watch movies with me, and laugh with me. Not
necesarilly a boyfriend, cause things just get complicated with those.
Just a really nice friend, who'll be there for me and who I can be close
with and tell everything to and not have them judge me.

All that aside, i had a good time yesterday :]
I went to Kris' lovely house and we watched movies. Although, I never got
to see A Walk To Remember. And the Charmed dvd he made me only plays the
first episode.
//sadness
But yeah, we went out for Davids birthday-ness. and it was good. till the
end when i was all sad for some weird reason.
So far I haven't studied today.
LOL. Prelim failure for me. Oh well.

dorkydave @ 2006-01-27T23:55:00

2006-01-28T00:15:43Z

i feel really run down lately.
like i just can't be bothered with anything.
everything is just a big strain and effort.
this constant studying for prelims isn't helping.

it feels as though it's been an age since i went out or did anything fun.
even though it's probably only been two weeks.
my prelims are next week and i'm going to fail, and cry, and then just. . .yeah.

i had the most boring night ever.
my mums boyfriends parents 50th weeding anniversary.
4 hours of sheer and utter boredom.
:[

i always have the best intentions about writing an entry in this thing.
but it always ends up sounds really lame, like a "dear diary" thing.
grr!

Come rescue me.

2005-11-07T23:33:06Z

This weekend was blaaah.
Gillian, Lesley Rhian &&me were drowning our sorrows on Friday night.
We got well and truly drunk as skunks.
I then had the worst hangover on Saturday and couldnt go into work.
&& they were laughing at me vomitting.
Bitches.
I managed to go meet Allan to see Saw2 and goto the firework display.
It was funfun, apart from the sick feeling :[

Then sunday I stayed in my jammies all day.
It was a lazy day.

So, today I had to do a presentation for the eco comittee to my year && the year below.
With only FIVE minutes notice.
lol.
People said I did good, though.
I'm now also participating in a public speaking competition.
My speech is about Christmas.
Haha. WOW!! right?

SPARKLEE!!

savour every moment of this.

2005-10-20T22:42:24Z

I went for a walk last night.
My head felt all overloaded and junk,
so I walked for an hour just listening to music.
It was nice.
I seen baby rabbits in the moonlight,
&& the dewdrops on the grass looked like diamonds.
It was pretty.
Although, I did stand in the biggest turd of horse poo everrr.
>:/

I've been reading a lot lately.
I'm kinda enthralled in Anne Rice's "the vampire lestat"
It's sooooooo good.
I was reading till 3 am last night.
I was too lazy to get the lamp from the other room,
so I read under candle-light.

Haha,
I met this good looking american dude at work today.
He came up to me with his funny wee accent && asked:
"do you have a lint roller?"
and I just looked at him.
He'd said it so fast I never understood.
But, then he said to remove dust from your clothes
&& I knew what he meeeeeeant.
It was the highlight of my day.
American accents are awesomely funny.

dorkydave @ 2005-10-18T00:31:00

2005-10-17T23:33:56Z

I've discovered,
that I like carrying around juicebox's.
Even once they're finished.
And shutup, I know we don't call them juicebox's
but it sounds better than cartons.
That just sounds really common.
I had a nice apple juicebox today.
It was gooooood.

I seen my dad and my gram today.
He said he'd phone me and get me round for dinner next week.
Lets watch another month and a half pass by before I see him again.
sheesh.

I smell really nice.
I used my mums avon exfoliating scrub when i was in the bath.
&& I watched Aladdin tonight.
Oh the joy of disney sing-alongs.
:]]

dorkydave @ 2005-10-16T20:11:00

2005-10-16T19:16:44Z

I watched Beauty and the Beast last night.
I needed cheering up.

The song at the start made me sad,
I knew it would,
but the second song where they all sing bonjour, really cheered me up.
Infact, the whole movie did;
Even ugly people can find true love♥

dorkydave @ 2005-10-10T00:13:00

2005-10-09T23:13:52Z

Today was a nice day,
even though I had to pure rush and get ready in 15 minutes.
That didn't make me look good at all.
+running in the rain didn't help either.

My train got delayed and I had to transfer.
It confused me.
I was meeting wee Markie in central and thought I was gonna be late,
but he turned out to be late.
For a change.

I bought new jeans, which I really like the inside of.
The pocket lining is purple.
&& I had a lovely wee coffee with markie.
:]

I have an essay still to finish as I write this
and I have toothpaste all over my hands.
wtf
!!

dorkydave @ 2005-10-06T23:36:00

2005-10-06T22:38:00Z

Someone said to me:

"You're so negative about yourself.
What do you actually LIKE about yourself?"

And I couldn't answer.
&& it made me sad; that I couldn't think of anything positive about myself.
:/